Very difficult week for me, next december the third is 10 years without my mom. She died in three minutes caused by an aneurysm. She was 46 years old. I miss her she was sooo excentric and funny. She used to work in a radio because her voice was ineffable and also on television presenting the midday news.
I still do not understand why my father did not come to her funeral to give me a hug and strenght. Never understood and after that he got even more away. When I came back from London I had social fobia adn panic attacks and he did not call not even once to ask how was I feeling. I'm thankfull for him pay for my health plan the basic one, and for the club and the gym. I have conscience that is hos obligation as a father but he does not. I'm thankfull but I really don not admire him. Last time we met was accident i was in a plan going to see Madonna's concert in Rio amd he was going back to his town Macaé. He comes to Belo Horizonte very often but never asked me for a lunch or asked how was I doing. So in the plane I switch places and sit next to him. And he said: - do tou still like this woman? - I said : Yes forever, true love. And he does not know but before enter the flight I was angry with him and crying that I was to realize the most important thing in my lide and he does not even care. Well he said good bye at the airport not even an açaí and took of to Macaé straight away..
And his wife I do not admire either. She was very happy answering the emails I used to wrote to him and give a negative sentence. Well i don't think she likes me because after my mother died my relaton with him was over. And at my graduation she was all peackoking about her new 80.000,00 car and he gave me 300,00 reais. Wich i used to pay the bill of the pizza place in lourdes where we went with all my gay friends. And the funny thing is she is his secretary. How come? Is just me or something is wrong? My intuition tells me that if she can take advantage in anything she will do it.
I've been to their three floor penthouse three times in the last twenty years. If you see my telefone bill i called him many times do i get him calling back? Never ...
But I'm thankful that I'm healthy and I can enjoy the club amd the gym. I have a good bike I bought with my own money. And I pay my parlor and everything with my family here. Sometimes I have a production or a free la and I get money but this is not the important thing in my life. I'm a researcher I seek for the truth and my spiritual path. And that is good enough for me.
